Job Hunting: Would you Like Fries With That Categorical Imperative?

After my defense, I took a week off and did nothing but read novels. It was fantastic. The next week I spent reading nonfiction that had nothing to do with education. Also fantastic. Now, however, I am back in the Slough of Despond that is job hunting. I definitely think it is time for reality TV to do a Survivor: Recession! series.

My job prospects are also complicated by several factors. Nick does not know where he will be working next year. He has finally come around to my position that I cannot remain unemployed while he figures out where we are living each summer. I delayed looking for postgrad fellowships because he was so adamant about us living together like 'normal' married people. (Note to self: Next time, just do what you were going to do anyway, because you're generally right). So, having gotten him to accept we will not be living together next year, the job hunt can begin without geographic restrictions. What have I discovered?

1. There are no fellowships left. All the deadlines were Jan 15.
2. I can't re-enroll in another NYU PhD program (again, missed deadline)
3. There are no assistant professor, associate professor, or adjunct positions available (tight job market)
4. Most states have a hiring freeze since the stock market imploded (worried about declining tax revenues). Therefore, it's difficult to even get a public school gig (!)

Also, I am reluctant to take a 12-month gig because I need to work at GSE to retain my sanity. This presents no problem when looking for teaching jobs, but those are thin on the ground.

I thought I had a brilliant solution to my problem: Residence Director of a dorm. It's generally a 10 month gig, free room and board, gives me a chance to teach some college classes, get health insurance, gives me access to an IRB (so I can continue to do research for what I hope will be a book), and some time to think and write. The salaries are laughable (below what I made as a first year teacher) but the other benefits--specifically, the autonomy of the working conditions--are more important to me than salary.

So, no problem, right? I found a website that posts these positions, there are over 100 in the Southeast alone, and so I sent in my applications.

(*crickets chirping. tumbleweed-ish bits of data blowing across my empty email box*)

No response. From anyone.

I am simply not used to this state of affairs. It sounds stuck up, but it's actually the opposite. I choose to work in a low-paying, high-demand, low-autonomy profession (teaching). I also choose to work in the schools where it is hardest to get teachers (high poverty, majority-minority, etc). The fact that I have a teaching license makes me a minority in these schools. Therefore, I have never had a problem landing a job. Ever.

Until now.

It really is a blow to one's ego. Also, it induces compulsive checking of email spam folders to make sure that one of the emails didn't get shunted to the realm of Nigerian lotteries and $10,000 a week work-from-home scams.

So, in an effort to get someone to pay me to teach something, I sent in an application to a headhunting firm. Basically, this company gets paid to find teachers for private and boarding schools in the Southeast. I honestly did not expect them to take me on as a client. Think about it. If your job is to find teachers for boarding schools, would you select an applicant who works in Title I schools, wrote a master's thesis on racial profiling in gifted programs, and has a long (and public) record of agitating for economic parity in school funding?

Apparently, yup. They emailed me today to inform me that I was now their client. They are going to call me at the beginning of next week to set me up with interviews at various private schools.

I have done everything but beg public school administrators to hire me. I can't get public schools to return my phone calls; this place basically promises me a job as soon as I want one.

I always said Irony was my favorite literary device.