Transcription Worries

I have been rechecking my earlier transcriptions for errors before I send them to participants for triangulation. As I re-read them, I am worried about something. I tried to stay as faithful to the audio record as possible; this meant including all the natural hiccoughs of spoken language—filler words (“like,” “um,” “uh,” “and,” etc); run on sentences; fragments, etc, in order to get as close a record as possible to the participants’ natural speech patterns. However, I have several problems with this method. First, (and I didn’t think about this until I had emailed the interview transcription to each participant), I am worried that the participants will be upset that I included these things, even though I transcribed my own speech issues as well (apparently I say “um” or “okay” before every single sentence I speak!). I don’t want them to think that they sound silly or stupid, because they don’t—their speech is much more fluent than normal, due I think to their extended experiences in the academy. I am worried, however, that a participant will want me to not use their words or let their voice on the page out of an antipathy for their speech patterns. If that happens, I don’t know what I will do.

I also am not sure about whether or not I should record these speech quirks in my actual dissertation. Do I eliminate them so that all the participants sound polished? If I do this, I will take away their voice, the thousand ways that their idiosyncratic speech makes them unique. If I don’t, however, I risk alienating my participants, since they will see the dissertation drafts, and I also risk having my readers not understand how incredibly intelligent these teachers are. It is a conundrum that I haven’t decided yet how to solve.

ValidityThreats?

Something I never anticipated is happening. I knew going in to this project that I loved the GS deeply and profoundly. I knew I had an emotional connection to this school and therefore to this project. However, I did not think that transcribing interviews would involve any emotional attachment. I actually thought the transcriptions would be the most boring part of the research. But with each transcription, I get more and more emotional. Hearing the voices of people I have come to consider my family makes me want to break down and just bawl. I know it’s silly—it’s not like they’ve died, I can always call or email them—but it’s just not the same. Being together, living on a hall together, is an experience that can’t be replicated when we’re flung all over the United States and Europe. I miss those seven weeks of camaraderie and family the entire rest of the year, but for some reason it’s tougher this time around. I can usually get over missing GS so much by putting it away in a corner of my mind for several months. I can’t do that now. Every day that I work on this project I am reminded of how happy this place makes me, how dear my colleagues are to me, and how it will be another year before the magic can happen again. I know it’s maudlin and not my usually cynical self, but it’s there. I’ve got to figure out how to deal with this feeling, if it is a validity threat, but I don’t know where to begin.

Exhaustion

First, an explanation as to the relative lack of entries for the past two weeks. The last week of the summer program where I’m researching and teaching is emotionally exhausting. It takes everything I’ve got to deal with leaving this place behind. This program is a huge part of my life. It’s not a summer job. It’s a family reunion, it’s spending time with people you care about more than anything, it’s a time of joy and laughter. I'm not over the sadness that comes with leaving, and I am sure it is affecting my research. I'm not sure what to do...

Luddites Unite!

AAARGH! Stupid bald-headed technologist be insane! (that’s a Rollins reference, btw)

I switched email accounts a couple of years ago, from hotmail to gmail. I like gmail so much better— their spam filters are awesome, whereas the spam in the hotmail inbox was getting out of control. However (and there is always a however), the emails that the previous director sent re: the program document that is the subject of my dissertation were sent to my hotmail account. I still have the hotmail account, I just haven’t used it in forever. So, I thought, I’ll just log into the hotmail account, retrieve all the files I need, and be done.

Wrong. So, so wrong.

Hotmail has deleted EVERY EMAIL I EVER SAVED. They’ve actually deleted all my email from that account. True, most people don’t need access to email they haven’t seen in three or more years, BUT COME ON! Some of us DO need that email (say, because it is dissertation data). I know, I know, it’s my fault for not sticking to one email account. But just because I’ve broken up with hotmail doesn’t give it the right to throw away my stuff without so much as a courtesy phone call or email. Really, I’ve had ex-boyfriends who were more mature than this account. Gmail would never have done this to me.

Sigh. Off to see if the old director saves his 3-year old emails…

(8/1//8/22)